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The Crumb – Bad Policy by Bad People

By June 1, 2023No Comments

Mayor Mike Duggan tells the assembled media at the Mackinac Island policy goat fuck not to listen to the media.
We agree.
Listen to us, instead.

Mike promised to increase the city’s population. He hasn’t.
Mike promised to decrease auto insurance rates. He hasn’t.
Mike said he’d lower violent crime. Now innocent people are shot in a gas station and school children cower behind doors and fent-heads take over an abandoned house right across the street from the school.
Mike said he’d bring jobs to Detroit. If he did, it cost us billions.
But he did do one thing: he got a sprawling federal investigation, and even outed an FBI informant in the process.
Mike said unemployment in Detroit is at an all-time low. But, the truth is, the number of adults who are working is at an all-time low.
Now Mike wants to uncap property taxes on your house so billionaires can get a break on their skyscrapers.
When the sun goes down and the moon comes out, people in Mike’s Detroit call a moving van and get the hell out.

Transcript: Excuse me, young man. I’m, I’m trying to wash my hands at one of these sinks. I’m doing the video, sir. I’m doing the video. He’s lying. I ain’t give goddamn damn what you’re doing. You can’t holler. I’m doing nothing. You move your ass. What wrong with this? I slapp shit out of your back up. Young man. Aint young man. This ain’t you. Better back the fuck up out my face. God. I’m from Detroit, Michigan. Don’t play downtown Detroit.

Breaking this double war bullshit. Double war bullshit.

Wait, wait, wait. Happy Birthday Reg. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you. Happy birthday. 50.

What kind of grown man celebrates his birthday for like a whole fucking month is what I want to know. Well

Charlie, in certain neighborhoods that happened

Says Karen. Karen knows all things they, but in Indian Village, how would you know? I’m talking to Randy the birthday, it was like his birthday last week. He’s going to be his You taking next week off to

Yeah. Nah, I just took one weekend. That’s

It. He’s blushing

Though. You got the show tonight Quick, man. Yeah,

Yeah. Show tonight. Birthday celebration, flappers Road House, Lincoln Park, 7 2 2 Southfield Road comedy show and after party. Come on down. Free and $2 shots all night. Somebody getting drunk.

Look it, you know, I mean, I love you. Congratulations. This sucked a little one and pathetic. Kind of like inviting strangers to come to the after party. Drink $2 shots.

I invite two. Don’t you have


Friends? No, not really. And I figure if I can invite my strangers into the normy, they can come on and down and celebrate my birthday.

Happy birthday my brother. Oh, right

There. Right there. Thank you. Oh lord.

You didn’t get him two pints.

I got him about old fashioned court.

Oh wow.

What DUIs are made of on birthdays. Thank you.

Thank you. You’re welcome back. Happy birthday Red. Thank you. Behind me is Billy Arnold. You remember him from one to Raleigh. He’s sitting in, he’s Paul Shaffer for the evening. Give us a little something there, Billy. Now what’s up at the back of piggy policy pen Convention. Man, we got any video of that? Y Y got to Y Got to see the food line. It’s like food porno. No, look at that. Look at that. Look at the pedo. Fours pigs in the blanket. The cannolis. Look at the custard. The old timey wagon. The old funky band in the corner. Show me what else they got there? What? What’d they have out at this tables for the barbecue? Oh, there’s Shms. Look at that champagne brought to you by Google. Fucking Google Zuckerberg. They

Even do champagne

Now. They do a little, it’s kind of tacky, right? It’s almost, it’s at $2 shots after party with Strange is better than


You than warming champagne on a conveyor belt.

Char. You know what I like going to Mac? I like going to the policy conference. What I do?


I don’t get anything done, but I like it.

Is it the Cannolis? Because that’s what did it for me on that video.


How about those oysters? Huh? How about those oysters? Oysters? Yeah. I think I used to date her crab legs isn’t not a oyster crab leg with a 400 miles or 600 miles in here. No, look at that. It’s a nice spread. You check a tablecloth in there. You got the jerk chicken. You got the what? You got the kale salad. Roast potatoes, more custard. Little mini pecan pies. The cannolis, serious polish stuff going on up there. But that’s not what was going on.


It’s not. Mike Duggan was up there and he was getting his knob polished, wasn’t he? Everybody kissing his ass, his speckled white ass. Right? Because he’s making a run for governor.


You. You’ve never seen it. It’s, that’s being nice. It’s gross ziti

God wondering how you know it’s

Speckled from the Bob Carmack video. What are you,

I know it’s poorly dressed, but

Manny talking weird shit and getting a standing O for it. You know what I mean? Why not? Because everybody getting rich off the guy up there. Right? It’s all the business people getting their checks and the pressures going around. Give me a free glass of champagne from Zuckerberg. I’ll write it Standing O Right? And meanwhile back home, the neighborhoods of suffering. Listen, listen to white Mike Duggan told the media.

I’m telling you, beautiful neighborhoods are spreading across the city. Don’t pay attention where the media says downtown midtown. Not the neighborhoods. Go off the freeway and drive through these neighborhoods. You cannot believe the number of block clubs and neighborhoods that are beautiful.

Now, did the mayor just tell the media not to listen to the media? Yeah. Listen, listen. Just go off the freeway.

But that’s a thing though, Charlie, if you get off the freeway or you get off the main thoroughfare and drive through the neighborhoods, you will be amazed at what you see. And I don’t mean in a good way. This city has so much left to be done. It’s a dump.

Yeah. Well look,

First of all, and I live in

It. I don’t just get off at any intersection anywhere in Michigan now because they’re all fucked up and they got barrels and nobody’s doing any fucking work. They got everything barreled off. If you I was on eight mile Woodward all the way to fucking mound. It was barreled off one lane, nothing getting done. It’s everywhere. You’re right. It’s b, I suspect something’s going on, which is, this is the cheap way to get cheap roading laid down. That’s what they say, right? Yep. Is this, instead of doing in sections where I got to move my equipment, I just bring the equipment and fuck all the rest of us and we’re not getting cement. No, we’re not. Now we’re getting bullshit tar. Not the good old asphalt, but the it’s, it’s a fucking mess. But here’s the deal. Here’s what was going on when Mike was up there getting his speckled ass kissed. Right? We’re going to talk about this tax shit. You’re not getting into my house, mayor. You ain’t, I’m going to fight you to the death. We’re not go, I’m not going for this tax plan. And I’m going to with Karen, break that down consumable bites while you’re driving and you’re going to get mad. But
Do you remember red? We’ve been trying to get the blight torn down around the schools. Yes. Where our babies go. Yeah. It’s almost two years now. You, okay, well you over there in the east side and near St. Gene? Yep. I’m over at seven in Shaer. Okay, so it’s Pulaski K through eight. It’s important to say Pulaski, K through eight used to be under west side of Shaer and the building fell the shit. Right. So they took all the kids and they moved them into an adult learning center on the east side of Shaer. Right. So a building Gotcha. Where nobody was getting trained to do any jobs really? So they moved the kids in there. Now this is kindergartners, man. This is like 12 year olds. These are babies. And there’s 14 abandoned houses bordering the school. And we went in there and there’s dead animals and there’s needles. And we’ve been begging you, sir, with all this federal money and the demolition you keep tooting to please take it down at this school. Number one priority are the kids, not the billionaires, not skyscrapers, the kids. So what happens, the zombie fent freaks from the suburbs are now marden the neighborhood. They’re ripping the boards down right next to the school. Okay. Pulling their junk out, waving their asses around. This is the kids now and the principal there. Tyra, who’s the D ps principal of the year. Oh wow. This is like a can do little school.
And they called the police. And the police is Sloan coming. And God blessed the police and chief white because when they got wind of it, wink, wink, they sent ’em in force. There’s now special ops in that neighborhood. I should also say last weekend there was an AK gunfight outside the school on the weekend. Oh wow. But this is our kids. This is our future. And do we have that? Were we rolling that here? Here’s the principle. Hiding behind a fence. Here’s the freaks going in there. Did you have that little part of her whispering? I

Did. And that, that’s what was messing up there.

Okay, I’ll try it again. Try it again. It’s just, it’s okay. It’s frozen. You know how it is. You got to pull this shit off the web. But

She was pretty much barricaded pointing out the house behind all the fences. It’s nuts.

Okay, so how many stories have we done on this? Why are any abandoned houses around


Still standing? Mike?

And that was one of the main things he promised when he was advocating an extra 250 meal from us taxpayers. I’m going to take care of the flight around the schools. Take care. Make sure the kids are safe. And

What happened to safe routes to schools? That’s been something that’s supposed to been forever.

Oh it is. Oh yes. Another one. Another thing we’re announcing that never fucking happens. And listen to me, Oakland County and Kent County and Livingston County. Your money’s getting funneled in here. I know you’re paying, nobody likes to pay, but you’re paying for human beings and they’re not seeing it. I’m here to tell you the principle of the year cannot. We’ve been, we got some torn down. Yeah, they torn down like seven. We got seven left. The neighbors, the city just pissed. And you’re up there with the crab cakes and the mini pecan pies and the champagne.

Don’t forget the cannolis

And the standing ovation. Don’t forget that. And own the run for governor. No. No sir. No, no. So now he’s

Setting it up.

Now the mayor wants to bitch. Census isn’t going down because people are hacks. People are leaving, people are coming in. Oh no ma’am. People are leaving, dude.

They are

Swiftly, right? We’re going to have, everybody in this room knows this. We’re going to have the Grand Prix. That’s a good thing. Like the Grand Prix. It’s good for a big city to have big things going on, but they’re not going to be any police in the neighborhood. They’re all going to be downtown. Yep. Just watch it. Is anybody in the media going to keep track and do some real things? You know what I mean?

I doubt it very seriously. It would go against the narrative that the mayor’s been selling. The comeback city. Anything that goes against that narrative he does not want out there. He does not want being publicized because it makes him look like the bullshitter he has really become over the last nine

Years. I don’t think so. I think it starts pointing to where the money got steered. Right? It’s called distraction. You know what I mean? Right. Just look at the fuzzy things. Look at the block clubs. Look at the flowers, the shiny objects. Yeah. Right about the kids. How’s the kids doing? How’s their scores? How’s the reading scores? How’s the quality of life? Terrible. How’s the home budget? How’s, how’s home ownership down? Because now he going to come with new tax plan, new dollar plan, new home ownership plan. We’ll get into that. But speaking of homes and money and all that. One a couple words from our sponsors. Give me a little something that, give me a little something, Billy, a little.

You going to wrap the commercials Charlie? No. No. Okay. That would be

Cute. Give me a little something Moody. Why would you do that?
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So do you miss the days of Coleman

Young and No. I miss the days of Rage against Men. Mahi when they say, they said, Hey motherfucker don’t do what they tell you. That was the radical left in the nineties. Hey, motherfucker don’t do what they tell you. The radical left of today says, Hey motherfucker, do what? They tell you what happened. I tell you what happened. It all went wrong. And it started with your insurance.
Have you checked your latest insurance rates? I have. I got an part appointment with the DMV tomorrow. I got my bike back on the road. If you haven’t checked your rates in the past year, the chances are, and trust me on this, you’re paying too much. But with work with Legacy Partners Insurance and they won’t let that happen. Legacy Partners keeps an eye on your rates and continuously shops all the carriers to make sure you have the best program. If you ever call them this year, then call them now. And you’re probably going to end up pissed off at your current provider. That number’s 5 8 6 2 0 9 4 1 0 6. Listen to me. Motherfuckers do what I tell you. 5 8 6 2 0 9 4 1 0 6 better cheaper insurance hit me, Billy

Cadillacs. And around in around we go. It’s going be cloudy. We the chance of pain get out of She’s enough to make. It’s a Stephens from my last dollar my time threw off this call of this weather coming in and chase going go insane. Can hear her come all I can freight trains around, be cloudy with chance of pain when the wind starts to rage. Get out of way enough to lead the weather. Man, all strange. It’s a trailer Santa Day.

All right, thank you. Billy Arnold, one to Charlie,

Cloudy with a chance of

Painting. There’s the latest record right there. I

Caught that, Karen, thank

You. Right there. Where can they get this bro? I like that. Oh,

You can get that anywhere you well anywhere. Look

In the dollar bin. That’s where you’ll find this. That’s right.

Wow. We’re getting as much as a dollar for that bad boy.

Now believe me, you’ll be overpaying. Just tune into no bullshit. I

Might actually go plan

My retirement. One ton trolley, three times. He’ll pop up in your window and just hand you a copy.

All right, listen here now, man, I’ll put the mat. This is a big, big, big, big, big deal. Don’t want to bore you. It’s Thursday, but you have to listen to this. It’s starting out at Governor Duggan. That’s what he wants. Governor Duggan is making a move on your house. Here’s the deal. It’s called a split rate tax. Dig me. Split rate tax. It’s starting in Detroit, but you can’t have it in Detroit unless you rewrite the Constitution of Michigan. In order to do it in Detroit, you got to be able to do it everywhere. And here’s what it is. It encaps the Headley Act. And the Headley Act says this, your property taxes can only go up 5% a year or the rate of inflation, which is ever lower. So currently inflation six. So your private tax can go up 5%. Couple years ago they went up 2% because that was the rate of inflation and it was lower. Right? Right. Okay. So Duggan got this great idea now that he wants to split the property, that the property itself will now be taxed at a higher rate and the building will be TA taxed at a lower rate. Okay? You’re bugging me with that. You’re bugging me with Adam. I’m trying to

Think. And he disconnected.


He disconnected to

The Elso Del Norte here is standing there for no reason. He’s just intimidating me. The camera doesn’t work. How celebrity

Are you? You can’t. You get bottom by

Camera. So now dig
Your property tax on. The property’s going to go up. The tax on your house will go down. What will this save the average Detroiter $160 a year. According right here to the city of Detroit’s legislative policy division. Not me. This is your city council’s numbers. Crunchers taking a look at it. Okay, couple things here. Will it even save us money? What happens? So first of all, almost no city in the country does this at all. It’s based off a study of where they do do it, which is in Pennsylvania. And here’s a list of the cities that do it. Let me give you these. Whopping metropolis, Eliquia, Hal Altoona, Clairton Coatesville, Connellsville dubois du Cannes. Oh Evansburg, some crazy nights in Evansburg Valley. Lockhaven McKeesport, new Castle, oil City, Pittsburgh. Oh, that’s right. Pittsburgh hasn’t done this. This in 25 years. I’ve heard of that place though. Scranton. Wow. Steelton, Scranton. Titusville and good old Washington. So that’s what we’re going to, we’re going to now crack into our own homes that we’ve budgeted for knowing we could afford him into our death and pass Monarch. That’s the basis. Now, according to this study and this study, no study’s ever been done


Now on this stuff, on this split tax. So Detroit got a study who commissioned this study that we’re basing all this stuff in Detroit on. Oh, it says here I have it. Let’s guess with a lead like that. It’s

Probably a name

We’ve heard. Oh, there it is. It’s funded. This research was funded by Invest Detroit. Now who would be Invest Detroit. Dan Gilbert. Dan Gilbert. Now figure this out. A fucking skyscraper pays a lot of taxes, but it sits on a very skinny piece of land. So you boost the tax on the land, you take it off the building. Voila. Dan. Making more money. More money. More money. Now will this be new? It’s called revenue neutral. Will we break even or make mo more money doing the new tax system?


We were reading Nolan Finley’s, right? With

No, Nolan did an interview on at the Mackinac Policy Conference. Nolan Finley’s, the editor of the Detroit News with Mayor Duggan. With Mike Dug. I don’t like calling him Mayor Mike with Mike

Duggan. I come to Wiz the Wizard Woodward,

I can’t and deal

Making Dug

And really kind of tried to try to delon LRE into what this was and what it would mean. So currently the average cost of the vacant land is 20 for tax annually is about $25. The

Well, lemme go like this. Okay. Okay. So there’s 90,000. Oh yeah. Vacant parcels. And the point here is this, if we tax these people that are speculating and sitting on vacant land, you know what that’ll do? If we bully ’em with more taxes, they’ll build buildings. That’s what he said. They will. It makes no sense to have vacant land that nobody wants that. I’m going to have to pay 60 extra bucks a year on
60 extra extra bucks a year. So in a time of 7% interest rates, 6% inflation construction costs through the freaking roof. Oh yeah. I’m going to be really scared. I’m going to build me a high rise. Nobody’s going to live in, there’s a reason tore vacant it now. 90,000 vacant pieces of property. 60,000 of these are owned by the Detroit Land Bank. Yep. Wow. So the biggest deadbeat is the Detroit Land Bank. And they don’t tax on it. So then Duggan says the other 30,000 are owned by five people. Okay, five. Well, I know a guy who lives in Connecticut that’s got 10. I don’t even believe that number. So Duggan goes like this. Everybody follow me now? They’re currently taxed at $25 a lot. I’m going to raise that. I’m going to bully these hedge funds, these billionaire millionaire speculators by raising their taxes to $85 a lot. Okay? Now the difference in that tax is 60 bucks, 60 bucks times 30,000 lots red,

1.8 million.

Very nice. One point

A yay red.

Nice. Just I feel like not slow like Dr. Evil coming out of the cryogenic freeze. 1.8 million, 1.8 million. Get stupid, Mike. No, no. And you know what? So we all got to vote on it. And then that means my silly hippie liberal, I don’t understand money. You pay for it. They’re going to uncap my house. There’s only one thing I care about is my wife and my kid and the domicile, which I put ’em in. That’s my investment. You know what I mean? I’m very open minded. I try to give my time. I’m charitable. I but do not fuck with my house.

And that’s the thing, Charlie, and this is what he tried to do with the insurance. You cannot create something like this for Detroit specific. It has to be opened up to other municipalities in the state. And that’s going to be the caveat for

It. And speaking of the insurance, Hey Mike, where is the cheaper car insurance? Because they trying to rape the fuck out of me.

It’s not, oh, we got a little piece of that coming up. I just wanted to quickly point out, I want to give some props to JC Rendell, Detroit Free Press. He’s the development writer. The guy’s really getting it now. And when I give you numbers a lot of times that’s because jcs a professional. He’s getting paid to dig those out. They won’t give ’em to us. But that new district, Detroit, the hockey arena plus that were given to Illich and to Ross out of Miami. Well he got the paperwork goes like the rent they’re going to charge is going to be 35% higher than the highest rent charged in Detroit. It’s going to be 35% over the luxury. These are going to be so luxurious. They’re going to cost you 35% more. And people making 300 grand are going to to move into Midtown. That that’s right. There’s a whole foods there. Oh,


Boy. Catch a hockey game.

That’ll do it.

There’s a new Italian restaurant. It looks good from outside the window. Won’t let me in.

I wonder why. Well, I

Know I don’t deserve to be let in, but 35% over and the studies show that won’t even break the thing even. Wow. Yep. So what do you think’s really happening there

After all of that? I don’t know Charlie, but I know the carrot, they keep dangling that. Oh, 20% is going to be allocated for low income section eight vouchers. That whole, there you go. And that’s not going to happen either.

In exchange for your was doing the math 600 plus it’s like 900 million of public money and don’t be fooled. It’s public money. The tax breaks that they’re getting are being pulled from somewhere else. So they get to capture people’s income tax. Yep. Okay. Well those are people paying income tax in the state already. So if they get to keep it, the state doesn’t have it. That’s a cash payment. Get me? I mean, this ain’t hard. They just make it hard. Right. All right, so you’re going to pay a 35% premium over the luxury over getting on top of the book Cadillac Hotel condo. And you get to live next to somebody making under the poverty rate. It’s not happening. Section eight Normandy. That’s cool. I know people can section eight, they’re cool. But I don’t think the audio executives want to live next to the guy that used to live next to the Chrysler plant and wanted to get out of there because the air’s bad

And they’re not going to. And the other side of that is that there are other things besides just rent. So you get a section eight voucher, you’re in this building. But just the amenities, the access, the attitude that you now are subjected to, they don’t want to live in there either. They don’t it.

It’s vapor. Yeah, look, it’s vapor because I tell you what’s going on here. When you build a building, even if it appreciates in value, just like Donald Trump now dig me everybody. This Donald Trump was telling you the truth. You own a skyscraper, you’re allowed to depreciate it. It’s losing value. Every year you get to save that for your tax returns. So already you win there. This place is in an opportunity zone, right? You invest in broke places and you get to funnel your capital gains in here and get 15% off that if you keep it here for 10 years, you don’t pay any tax on anything. Plus the working people are going to give you our income tax. We’re going to give you our sales tax. Yep. We’re going to give you the school tax. You get all revenue, utility tax. We going to give you cash. Don’t you see what’s happening? Yeah. This is a goof. And you’re all up there eating fucking oysters and giving ’em a standing out because that ain’t what’s going on. Now in the spirit of this, we tried, we were up late last night, Karen, mark and I just tried to get a little bit of the mayor’s greatest hits, the biggest whoppers in the shit that never came true. Do we have that? That was

Crazy. That’s not

Bad for last minute. Go ahead. There you go, Mike. I remember that. Mike claimed a lot of things. Most of them haven’t come true.

This weekend of the job fair, we will be hiring 70 new EMTs, emergency manager technicians to get ’em in the vehicles and get in a

Response. Emergency manager. We’re going

To start our own insurance company that we call De Insurance.

The population was supposed to go up it.

I want to be judged on one standard. Is the population of the city of Detroit going up or going down?

Now, Detroit mayor Mike Duggan disputing the results, tweeting earlier today that the US Census Bureau is a quote, national clown show.

Crime is going to go down it.

I wanted to start this week by addressing the violence that this community experienced over the weekend and particularly the shootings that occurred downtown

Blake was supposed to be gone by. Now

This proposal

Is going to get every

Abandoned house out of your block.

The home that police say was used by a serial killer is owned by the city of Detroit. The home sits on Maca Avenue near Mount Elliot. And it’s where the body of Tammy Jones was found last week.

Yeah. It was also where a woman was attacked days earlier. Let’s get right after Sean Le, who’s asking why the city left the home wide open and in such a dangerous state,

The blight’s still there, but he did get a federal investigation.

There’s also been a little bit of trouble. There’s two federal investigations that are going on now.

I think it’s one big federal investigation, but okay,

But what can you tell people about where you are now? Demos were suspended for two months. They’re back on. Where are we with the demo program and how do you talk to people about trusting the administration since there is this now investigation? Yeah.

When I’m in the neighborhoods and I still do a house party every single week, I never get asked about the investigation.

Mayor Mike said he’d never read out an FBI informant. He did rat out an FBI informant. Well,

The mayor was adamant today that he had no idea that this person was an FBI informant and he only shared the name to crack down on bad actors, not protect them.


Have never disclosed the identity of anyone I ever knew to be a confidential source in my life.

Mayor Mike told us his relationship with a prominent doctor was none of our business. And that the money he gave her was none of our money. God, I’m

Never going to talk about my personal life as you well know.

But the Mayor Dodges questions about his ties to a doctor who runs a nonprofit but does say he welcomes an investigation

And then he got an investigation and then he got a divorce and then he married the doctor

Three years ago, right here in Detroit at Hudson Hospital with Dr. Sonja Hassana, Wayne State University

Mayor Mike said the millions and millions for the Hudson skyscraper would transform the city. It didn’t

Then. Now vacant lot will be the home to the new tallest building in the city.

Detroit’s finally going vertical and instead of this site being a site of our decline today, this site is a site of our

Recovery. The property will have two buildings. A 58 story residential tower will soar over Motown with an observation deck and around 400 residential units. And

Now maybe he wants to be Governor Mike. But let’s not forget about Mayor Mike. There’s a lot of business to take care of. I’m telling

You, beautiful neighborhoods are spreading across the city. Don’t pay

Attention of the meetings. Says

Cloudy with a chance of,

That’s it. Your hand. Hey Mike, who you doing all my money in your hand? Go down to see the black club. All right. Excuse me man. Excuse me now. Thank you very much. Keep telling the guy

The fucking,

You can’t do that to your camera person.

Look, of course I can. No you can’t. Nobody could see if he’s mad.

Not nice. I

Know, but

Karen, isn’t this not a nice news program? It should be. It’s very nasty.

No it’s not. It’s not malicious. No, it’s fact malicious. It’s based in fact. No, that’s it.

It’s in the mud. Well, nifty 50. Whoa. Oh

Man. Happy birthday. Red take

Take, take a hit at a sip take.

I’m trying. I’m

No, you have to drive. Don’t do that.

I was 50. I don’t remember like all that. I mean, you

Know, I just,

Oh boy. Do that at 2021.

There he goes.

All right, listen. So Juan Koth, keep it on. Keep it on. Keep it on. Mayor Mike Duggan doesn’t like the census numbers either. So he rans and he RAVs and he calls the census statisticians clowns, Mike whs, that their methodology cannot be believed and is threatened year after year to sue and year after year he’s failed. Strangely, no other mayor of any city of any size is often his corner thrown a tantrum. You don’t hear this out of the New York City mayor or the mayor of Chicago or LA just Motor City Mike. But when there’s a statistic out of Washington that Mike really does like, he quits the belly aching and starts blowing his royal bugle. Wow. That would be the unemployment rate. It’s been continually falling since Covid and indeed since Mike’s come to office now, he was up at the swine Suaree known as the Mackinac Policy Convention blowing that Detroit’s unemployment rate is below 5% historic. I mean below 5%. That’s less than when we were making 57 Chevys. Unbelievable. Another historical all time under Mike. Just like the historical snowfall and the historical rain showers that cause a big flood on the east side, which was really caused by there being no power at the Detroit water through pumping station historical

Power outages. Maybe

Not since mastodons and not since mastodons. Has the unemployment been below 5%? Now here’s the thing, that’s true, but that’s not because there are more jobs or more people working those jobs. It’s because the government has stopped counting. People who have stopped looking for work just vanished them, poof them in the statistical count. This is known as the labor force participation rate. Everybody say it with me. It’s very important. Labor force participation,
Participation rates. Everybody forget unemployment now it’s the labor force participation rate. Yay. Now what is that? That’s a calculation of adding working people, working adults. 16 to FI 65. Adding the working adults and the adults who are looking for work and divided by all adults who are able to work whether they work or not. Okay. So those working, those looking for work divided by all of us. So now in Detroit, let’s take a hundred people so we can do percentages out of 100 people of working age. Okay, just 39 people in the city are working or looking for work. One more time. 39 people. 39 adults in Detroit are working or looking for work. Put that another way. 61 out of a hundred Detroiters have quit looking for work altogether so they’re not counted. Poof. So how do you vanish half a city with unemployment? Goy goo statistics. You might wonder we do. How does this 61%, which is the true unemployment rate, how do they get by with no job or no unemployment? Benny’s, is it ssi? Food stamps, living in a parent’s basement, hustling, I don’t know. So birthday boy Detroit Red hit the blocks to find out.

First of all, do you work

Currently right now? I don’t. I’m in between jobs right now.

So when you say in between jobs, are you receiving unemployment?

I’m not receiving any unemployment, no.

Have you ever received any unemployment benefit?

Nope. Never in my life.

So you’re not working for work, I take it. Yes.

Yeah. Looking currently

Now out of those same hundred people, 38 of them are working like this young lady here.

Cause I am a manager at St Bun. We are hiring but we are looking for certain people though.

So in near five months as a manager there, have you seen an influx of applicants in to get a job?

Technically though, it’s a lot of jobs out here. Trust and believe me, I see for hiring sign every day $15 an dollars, McDon Burkey, people don’t want to work that pen. Pandemic gave everybody lazy

And here comes the magic with working with those numbers. 60 of those same hundred people just stopped looking for word. They were between the correct working age able bodied. But they just said fuck it. Like my man Freddy here. So how old are you

Basically man, I’m 28.

Oh okay. That’s a lot of grave for 28, but that’s okay. You’re still in the working A Jane ain’t over 65,

Right? No sir. No sir. Alright.

Are you currently working? No


Are you looking for work?

No sir.

Why is that?

Oh man, you got to hustle man. I mean you know workers ain’t paying enough. Got to, got to in grind, get your ground on

So. So you saying there ain’t no job that’s available right now going be able to maintain your life?

Not really, man. Bill’s too high out here. Food too high. Everything is high. That’s why I’m high now. Shit. Goddamnit fuck job.

So do you know you are not being counted at all And that’s how Duggan is saying is 5% unemployment.

Man it seem like it but I ain’t getting caught in period. I’m out the picture.

So what would it take for you to go start looking for a job

For me? Oh man, benefits got to have a lot of benefits man. No benefits. I ain’t working. Got to have some benefits.

Okay. So I’m going to tell you, you are part of a big number, which is it’s two out of every hundred people not supposed to be working, right? That’s right. 38% is working and you know what group you fall into.

Let me guess

The 60% that just said fuck a job

Man, that’s me.

Well, after talking to some people and doing a little research to find out what the fuck unemployed really meant, I can definitely tell you this. Duggan is 95% full of bullshit and 5% delusional. There goes some hundred percent reporting for yas. Don’t be fooled by no imaginary numbers and old Mike, just because you don’t count ’em don’t mean they ain’t fucking there. Gooses. Well

That was good. That was awesome.

Yeah it was.

I can tell

Like well

How does the dude

Eat? Don’t

He grind? He but you know what? He grind.

But I’m going to take something from him from now on. Whenever you ask me how old I am, I’m going to say basically I’m 28.

That’s a lot of gray

For 28. That’s right. Basically I’m 28.

That’s it. It’s so much greater that we had to move the camera. Right.

And basically red is 50 today,

NTY 50. Woo.

Well red. And Annette said like, I know what your hobby is, dude. Weed. Weed is your hobby.

Yes. I like to cut weed down cause they black walkways and all kind of shit.

So what we did here, red is like we didn’t get your cake. We got you a pie. We got you a weed pie. A weed pizza pie. Red from

Pink panties. Pizza.

Oh wow. Pink panties.

So why butt? You got to do your signature delivery now. You can’t. You can’t get, you can’t have give it to him.

What’s your name dude?

Jeff G What up though?

What’s that? What you got there?

I got a special piece of comedian Detroit. Red

Is it got weed.

It got hella

Weed in the game. Yeah.

Hella we what kind

Of weed? Only the best weed. Indica. Always indica. Always indi. Hey red, look at reds. Sprite.


A bird.

Thank you so much. Oh I got

Open your pirate now

Red do red. Did you hear what he said when he gave it to you? He said what up Dough. D o

U g. That’s a real Detroiter. Marijuana. Thank

What up dough? Like d o u g eight.

I’m probably going eat this in the car. I mean after I get to where I’m going. Cause I don’t want to,

I really wanted to see how this and

You got to share red.

Come on


Oh, you gave a card. That was so thought

You want to read it Red. It’s a radio show.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This ain’t a beer. But this buds for you. Red comedian Detroit Red PS reheard. You a funny guy. But the pizza ain’t no joke. I I can’t re it. Our succinct. Oh Pete Panties pizza. Thank you. Thank you. And hopefully this pizza will help me get some pink panties tonight. Some skinny one. Thank you. Oh wow.

Red. Happy birthday.

50 woo. I don’t think I’m going to remember this birthday after this over. Oh wow. That is awesome.

That doesn’t mean smell like weed. Go ahead. Thank

You Take No it not your too red. If

You eat that now it’s red.

Red Red’s a professional. Oh red, red won’t even feel this.

His baseline’s a lot


Oh my God. Okay.

Oh it’s cheesy. Cheesy. Oh my god.

Ray’s not going to make it to his show tonight.

How’s that taste bro? How’s it taste? He’s not going

To, this is the show.

Jeff said you might be funnier.

This is good and fun. I need your number.

I’ll give, I’ll give it to him.

Yes. Come on here. Why don’t you to give the number out on the air here. Yes.

Oh thank you. If you

Guys are interested in ordering a ping panties pizza, all you got to do is text the number 3 1 3 6 2 9 3 2 3 0 please. Text, do not call. If we don’t get right back to you. Just be patient. We we heads

And you’re and aren’t you also, you’re on Instagram, you’re on Facebook, you’re okay. So you’re on social media, all social

Media platform and you’re delivered to the alleys and shit too, right? Delivered to the car of

Course. And a real, where are you at?


Rest area live Real live review. Awesome. There’s a weed fish. Nato. Great. And her cover

Up. Jason is like, where’s my slide? This is good. I got the

Stamp. Yes, you got the stamp. A one. Well I have to wait to give you the full stamp right In about 30 minutes. Yeah,


Now here, here we got another

Taste. Much tester. Thank.

I would lick my fingers man. But

Always do that. He doesn’t watch his hands when he goes to the bathroom

Well have you, oh wait a minute. We had something else. Kirby Uhoh. Where’s that wait

For? This could be a little problem though. It’s like smokey weed. Eat your, I mean eat your pizza

Red please

Eat your weed. Then you go to bed. Fat

And happy.

Well, I think I’ve lost enough weight over the last few months. I could gain a couple pounds.

It’s nifty. 50 man. Nifty

50. Woo.

All right. So did we sing or something?

No. Does anybody else got a gift for

Bread? Yeah, we’ve got, we got happy Birthday. Birthday too. Happy you. We have a cake. Happy. Happy birthday. Birthday two. Hey we need some music. Happy birthday.

We need

Happy birthday. Birthday Dear Red, happy birthday.

Charlie made the cake for

You. Where’s the candle? They don’t have any candles. All

Thank you

Brother. No candles.

Well one good thing about it. I ain’t got to worry about the message. I got a

Candle for you bro. There we go Charlie. Yeah. Happy birthday red.

A MBN news cake. Like only weekend. Serve it. Oh boy. Thank you. And I want to say this right quick. A lot of people hit 50 or a certain age and they reflect. And I am very happy at where I’m am in my life at 50. I have no regrets and I’m glad that I’ve been able to be around you, great people all this time and really do something and learn and grow. And y’all let me be me. Hell yeah. Thank you. Appreciate

It. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday

Rad. Thank you everybody. I did did you got to spend the, the night at the door today. Tomorrow’s 51 Red.

Oh wait, you got one more gift coming. I

Only got another gift for red.

The gift keeps coming.

Look at that. Oh, red. Oh well

Red is setting a high standard here.

Put the hat on red. What? How old

Is he? 12. Geez. After this pizza I’ll feel like I’m 12.


Uhuh. No. No. Do

You know how much I had to put on big hair?

Oh yeah. Oh we

Got me a date for my birthday.

Great. We got a date birthday.

What’d get there? Oh wow.

What’d you get there?

Detroit City distillery butcher’s cut straight bourbon whiskey. God. Oh wow. Not a

Bourbon for red today. Thank

You. Yes. I probably will end up in a hotel room in Lincoln Park by the time the night. Oh

And I know man, it’s a little bit lonely there at the door D. So on this I’m leaving. Well we don’t want you to be alone tonight. So Billy Arnold from Onet, you know he knows what it is about. So he brought you

A one troll girl. Ah,

He brought you Jenny. There you go. There you go. Red.

And I can tell she I

Found her at a gas station in Highland Park. On my way here. Wait,

At Highland Park

She looked like she’s from Lincoln

Park. Would’ve been a little safer from her. She’s

Going to go to Lincoln Park, that’s for sure.

Look what’s in her mouth. She got the same taste you do. Oh look at that red.

Why don’t you all subject

Me to this? I love y’all today. Thank you. This is what’s greatest.

What was in her mouth man, besides you in a minute.

I do have to go to the bathroom. It looks like some one ton trolley. Oh wow. These probably sell better than a cd, but thank you. I love it. Oh my god. I probably won’t even remember tonight by the time it’s over with.

Thank you. Well loved brothers. Thank

You. I love all

Y’all. I’m glad you called and walked into our lives. Thank you. You made it. Thank you. Made it very special. And I think I speak for everybody out there. You’re a talented man.

Appreciate it. Thank y’all. And I appreciate all the love and support and come get these $2 shots with me. Get drunk, stranger or not? I don’t think that’s what a birthday’s about. Oh, I’m going to make it Okay there. All right.

Alright Billy. Billy, can you take us out a little something funky please? No. And remember, don’t do what they tell you. And if learn your numbers as much as you learn to lion statistics, it’s, I’m counting on you.

This will be, that’s in hand house looking for some match that’s in hand house. Searching far and wide. That’s in hand house. Got that satisfaction if your hands are up inside, inside there’s in hand house. Stressful, bad in there’s in hand house searching. Foreign. Why there’s house, Scott? I’m my, your hands locked up the inside. Got a nap. Stomping through the barn. Got hockey on place. Jaquis left right again. Sw. He expects mission. Not one chase right Nothing. Laugh proof. Red in red in house in hand. Foursome action. In hand house down in Lincoln. Parks in hand house. It’s got some jugs for the masses. Keep going. Inside’s going to turn outside. Stomp barn lock chicken left right. He expects mission. Not one rooster in the head house.

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